Life Lessons from An Eleven Year Old

As a parent, there are so many times we are so focused on teaching our children the rights and wrongs of life that we rarely stop and take a look at what it is, we as adults, can learn from our kids.

Too many of us miss this opportunity all together  but if we are lucky, there will be enough of us to hit the brakes, stop and look around to discover the incredible feeling of discovering that your kids might just have a mind of their own, full of inspiration.

Six weeks ago, I was lucky enough to figure out it was time to hit the brakes.

Remember my post,  Taking a Step Back Isn’t Always Easy, where I explained  that slowing down isn’t always necessarily a bad thing?   Continuing on with those sentiments, I decided that it was time for me to take a break from being the talking-constantly-teaching-life-lessons -parent and become the take-a-step – back- and- watch- how -things-enfold-parent.    As hard as it was,  watching instead of talking has become another life lesson for me this fall.

Without hashing out too many details that would likely bore you to death,   I will give you a Coles notes version.   My athletic little man, decided to shock all the world by announcing he wanted to switch sports and give something new a try.  I know, not terribly earth shattering and should be embraced, right?  Absolutely.

But here’s the thing – at 11 years old, this kid has played this sport since the age of three and quite successfully the last four years at the competitive level,  therefore for HIS world to hear he was considering a change shocked a lot of people. ( I should note here, that we do live in a fairly small community, so HIS world is known and discussed by many.)

It would have been so incredibly easy for us as parents to question his decision and push this idea out of his head.  After all, he is still only eleven and pretty much can be persuaded into anything (good or bad).  God knows his Coaches were speechless and questioned us on how we could let him do this to his future.   Don’t get me wrong,  I was doubting this switch as well and struggled with the decision for weeks.  My dear husband, on the other hand, who is more often than not the voice of reason, had no issue with the switch at all.

We decided to let him change his focus but reassured him that if at any point he felt like he made a mistake that it wouldn’t be the end of the world and he was more than welcome to turn back around.  If this was the path he was deciding to try then we would be there every step of the way.
Fast forward as six weeks have passed since  I made the decision to make a conscience effort to observe rather than teach, as my son switched sports. In those six weeks, I am astounded that I didn’t think to open my eyes sooner.

There are so many life lessons this switch has shown myself and of course my son (whether he realizes it or not):

Courage  – to go against what everyone else expected and follow that gut feeling

Determination – to give the new adventure 100 % effort

Realism – to understand success is usually never achieved instantly but a work in progress and helped along by setting short term goals

Happiness – to be left to make a decision about your own future

Now I am sure that some of you may be thinking that switching sports may sound a bit of a simplistic situation and I can completely understand from where you may be coming.  But for my eleven year old, this sport was his life and how he identified himself and how everyone in his life defined him.  So for him,  this switch was akin to switching his identity.

You may not be thinking about a “simple” switch like  a sport but you may be considering other changes in your life.    No matter the change,  these simple lessons from an eleven year old could actually help give you some insight.

Seriously, just think about it for a minute….

I’m talking about having the insight to know that it is time for a change in your life.

I’m talking about having the courage to make that change; to have the determination to give 100% effort but also realize that success will only come after the hard work is put in.

I’m talking about learning that after everything above falls into place, that discovering your true happiness was always your ultimate  goal.

I’m talking about that as parents, sometimes we just need to take the time to see that maybe those little ones have learned something from your teachings and that they just might be able to show you that they are listening; they are learning and becoming the individuals you so desperately what them to become.  As much as kids need to watch, listen and learn from their parents,  there is no doubt that it is just as important for us parents to do the same with them and if we don’t, we risk missing that moment entirely.