The Power of Forgiveness and Love – Week 2 of Money Mindset Bootcamp

” Forgiveness and love are two of the most powerful forces in the Universe. Imagine what’s possible when you apply these forces to your MONEY?”    – Denise Duffield-Thomas

What does love and forgiveness have to do with you being able to make money?

At least, that is exactly what question to came to my mind as I started into Week 2 of Denise Duffield Thomas’ Money Mindset Bootcamp (want to know more about this Money Mindset Bootcamp? Check out my blog post Money Boot Camp with Denise Duffield-Thomas and follow my progress starting with Your Upgrade Plan – Week 1 of Money Mindset Bootcamp)

Apparently, a lot!

Last week we talked about taking a look at what areas in your life you were living in Economy Class and what incremental steps that take to move from Economy to First Class (because we all deserve to life a First Class Life!). Although many of the areas listed related to actual physical items, there are so many intellectual aspects of our lives that need to be looked at as well.

In Week Two, Denise has us looking at decluttering our “mental money crap” that can be holding us back from living our First Class Life.

All too often, we may not realize that there have been situations in our past related to money that have shaped some underlying negative thoughts about money. Now is the time to think back, even as far a childhood, to money memories that trigger strong emotions (anger, shame, embarrassment, guilt) and write them down. These thoughts might not come to you right away, so take your time. Look at any major life events, careers, relationships, friendships and yourself.

When I first read this exercise, I honestly didn’t think that I had any “mental money crap” but boy was I wrong. Don’t think for a second that there is one of you out there right now that doesn’t have issues with money, because I can guarantee you the majority of us do! Even though I was skeptical, I did sit down and came up with my own list of money memories, 26 memories to be exact – all associated with feelings of Anger, Resentment, Embarrassment and Shame.

With my Type A personality showing, I literally made a chart with these four headings and really zoned in on the emotions and wrote down whatever thoughts came into my head. I’m not going to share all 26 memories with you (as there are some really deep personal memories that came up and honestly, does anyone else really want to know these things?!) I thought I would share one memory under the ANGER category to which I am certain many people can relate.

How many of you have worked in the retail world? I am sure there are many hands in the air right now ( I think that everyone needs the experience of working retail in their life, it gives us all a better understanding of how to deal with the jerks of the world!)

In my early 20s I had a job in retail and worked my way up to a Department Assistant Manager. I thought things were great until a co-worker told me that I was making less than others in the store who were doing less and had less responsibility. Of course I was shocked and tried to get answers from the Manager, who ended up doing a great job of pushing me off the subject with excuse after excuse. I was angry and I felt stuck because if the Manager was pushing this issue aside then what was I supposed to do? So I continued working to get that promotion to Department Manager to make that extra bit of money. When the job opening came up, of course I applied for it. I knew the department and the store inside and out and was basically running it already. I was blown away when they gave the position to someone else but then asked ME to TRAIN the new manager for the new position! What?! I wasn’t qualified enough to get the job but I was qualified enough to train the new manager for that same job?!   The Manager convinced me that I didn’t get the job because I started in that store as a cashier and I wouldn’t get the respect from the staff if they moved me up to Department Manager in the same store (??)  I was speechless.  But I needed to job and stupidly let the Manager talk me into training the new Department Manager.

Looking back I can see the anger I had for the Store Manager, I see the anger I had for the “systems” set in place that allowed someone that was not qualified to get the job and I see the anger that I had at myself for not telling all of them to stuff it and walk out (which eventually I did and a couple years later that retail chain went bankrupt and now no longer exists).

All these unpleasant memories revolved around money and the feeling that no matter how hard I worked, I wasn’t getting paid what I was worth. Looking at so many of my other items on my list, I can see a pattern that had developed around a belief that working hard doesn’t get me the compensation that I am worth. Wait, could this revelation be one of the money blocks that I was so sure that I didn’t have?!

Now that I had tapped into that negativity around this block, it was time to release it; release the energy, the resentment, the anger I had during that entire time. It was time to forgive that Manager for being incompetent (he really was a bad manager and didn’t know any better), forgive myself for not fighting harder for what was right and forgive myself for believing that I wasn’t worth being paid more at the time. I also realized that it was time to be thankful that I went through this situation. Thankful for going through the crap to see that I could do better and that I needed to move on to better things.

Still think that you don’t have any issues surrounding money?

Just take ten minutes and make that list like I did. You may need to come back to it again and again as more things pop into your head. Once that list is made, recognize the emotions in each event – release all those negative feelings, forgive the people involved and be thankful for the learning opportunities each situation has brought you. Best of all, know that you are one step further along in the journey to living that First Class life and happiness.